A Stitch In Time Save Nine

It has been a perpetual mystery to me. I mean, here I am, one able bodied young man with no apparent disability (or ability for that matter). Certainly no Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s disease. In fact, I am pretty normal when it comes to my Hand (he deserves the exaltation doing what my brain bids him to do). And yet, put an innocuous pen in my Hand and a scrap in front and watch him throttle to life of his own. He darts around the page in an orgy of crazed devastation defying every law of gravity, friction, motor control….. so much so that I can fancy having the most destructive fist after Muhammad Ali.

I don’t know what went wrong and when. There was that innocent age when, at the dubious urgings of a promised cane, I spent hours hunched over those beastly 30 minutes improve-your-handwriting books. Dutifully I traced every hideous curlicue that the book demanded – pushing my pencil in those unfathomable maneuvers that constitute good handwriting. All I ever drew was a nil and six of the choicest. A sore ego, a sorer hand, and still sorer are the abiding memories of those days.

I tried, God know I tried. I twisted Hand through impossible contortions; I slanted the font this way and that from a laying down position to a falling headlong position. I changed pens, crayons, pen-grips, ink – everything except my handwriting. That dratted spider refused to amend its wayward rumblings.

Teachers, either gave me the benefit of doubt and awarded full marks or (and more often) I had to pay the penance of suspicion with no marks at all. There was this gentle soul who looked an entire page of sweat stained calculations because she thought it was rough work. Another sweet old thing suggested that I get my Hand fractured and get someone else to write my exams. Most other squinted gamely at my paper for sometime, polished their glasses, finally threw up their hands and went for an eye test. The strain was too much, they said. The only encouraging person I knew was the local druggist. He said, “This boy is going to be a doctor. I can read it in his hand”.

Then once I happened to come across this learned book on handwriting analysis. It classified handwritings into types very systematically and then drew inferences about the writer’s character. Very clever indeed, until it ran up against my script. In the next couple of hours I discovered that I was a manic, depressive, homicidal, brilliant, retarded, left-handed, cock-eyed incestuous – all that from that priceless manual and that too from the sentence, “This is a handwriting analysis sample.” Even my full stop yielded fresh insights into my psyche (habitually messy) and my redention of the humble ‘p’ generated such stream of adjectives that I had to make a hasty retreat. All I could make out of it was that I was a schizophrenic and an illegible one at that.

All this time I sailed through those terrifying written exams unscathed courtesy the mercy of long suffering teachers and Hand’s whim. My standard pre-exam prayer was, “Lord, forgive Hand for I know not what He is doing”. Objective exams were simpler. All I had to do was to fill a given circle. It took a double fisted backhand to do it, but I succeeded. Well, I finally landed in a college (someone in the Maths department of my college has to thank me for his glasses). Astonishingly I worked myself into good books of every invigilator – all they had to do to prevent ‘topoing’ was to place me in the more ‘active’ section of the class and go off for a stroll. I sure made a first class buffer.

I tried my ‘Hand’ at volunteering. I terrorized every single printer. I was never given any poster job, because, as someone put it, “The day he does the posters we are going to be in the dock for spreading obscene literature”.

And when I landed a job as Structural Engineer, boy, I was invaluable. Any mistake in drafting, grammar and printing and my colleague would murmur wearily, “You know how it is with his handwriting….”

Nothing so awful about Handwriting except that sometimes, as it happened in my case, a self-addressed envelope came 3 months late and bearing the legend, ‘redirected from Australia’.

Physics Shows The Way To Consciousness

Can Science and meditation, each dealing with different phenomena, have common ground? Physics deals with the external world of matter, space and time, from the giant galaxies in outer space down to the infinitesimally small particles, which make up the atom.

Meditation looks inward; its domain is that which is not physical. When we close our eyes in meditation, we are cutting off the senses, which connect us with the physical world. What we perceive at this time cannot be seen, heard, tasted, touched or smelled. We are investigating the nature of the inner consciousness, which makes us alive, alert and aware of the world around us.

There was a time when physics and meditation did come together. In the 1920s quantum physics through its revelations was turning the world of science upside down – that light was both a particle and a wave, that there no longer was a strict relation between cause and effect and that it was impossible to measure both the position and the speed of a particle at the same time (Heisenberg’s principle). Moreover, quantum theory was unable to predict the outcome of an experiment. If there were, for example, two possible results of an experimental measurement – say A and B – quantum theory could do no more than state the probability that a given measurement would turn up as A or B; it could not predict what the actual result would be. If the experiment were performed, however, common sense would prevail and only one result, either A or B, would be found. The question arises: “What was it that chose the one outcome of the measurement which did result from all of the various possibilities?”

This problem was tackled by a mathematical physicist, John Von Neumann, who reasoned that whatever was responsible for choosing the outcome of a measurement had to be something which was not governed by the quantum theory, and therefore had to be non-physical. He reasoned that all of the components in an experiment – the system being measured, the probes doing the measurement and the recording devices – were physical. The only non-physical element in the experimental set-up was the consciousness of the human being performing the measurement. Von Neumann had thus discovered consciousness as a vital ingredient in a quantum experiment. As the Nobel prize-winning physicist Eugene Wigner put it, “The very study of the external world led to the conclusion that the content of the consciousness is an ultimate reality.”

It is here in consciousness that physics and meditation meet. Strange as it may seem, physics, by looking only the external physical world, had pointed to consciousness as an indispensable component of a quantum experiment. Meditation, by looking inward, explores the nature of this consciousness. Thus, physics points the way to consciousness and meditation allows us to investigate what consciousness is. In meditation we find that there is a conscious being, or Knower, which perceives the thoughts that rise and fall in our minds – the same consciousness which Von Neumann discovered as the perceiving element in an experiment.

During meditation we find that even when there are no thoughts in the mind, the Knower remains. Human beings experience three states of consciousness: waking, dreaming, and sleep. Meditation reveals that the Knower both transcends these states of mind and gives rise to them. Ultimately we realize that the Knower also exists before birth and after death. It is immortal, infinite and unchanging canvas upon which the world of matter, time and space is painted.

Self-awareness Can Bring Happiness (Adapted)

The very concept of God has given rise to many theological disputes and religious warfare. In fact, God is an enduring in-depth experience in the midst of ever changing mental and sensate experiences – God is the inexhaustible source of love, harmony and peace. Happiness is sought by everyone. But the search is not focused in the right direction. We waste precious time seeking happiness in the mirage of objects, places and people; in relationships and ideologies; in possessions and wanton indulgences. Some seek happiness in caves, in mountains or deserts, practicing severe penance. Our rishis called them extroverts – those who seek happiness in the objective domain with wasteful efforts, disregarding the subjective.

In fact, happiness is a function of the subjective. But to seek happiness in the subjective domain is impossible, because the subjective can never become an object of seeking. That means to seek happiness in either direction is to miss happiness. That realization makes the seeker spontaneously detached, silent and contemplative. Meditation means all that. So meditation is the only door to happiness. Meditation means just ‘to be happy’.

A group of American tourists were visiting Japan. They made it a point to visit as many Buddhist temples as possible and participate in all their religious practices. In one of those temples they were introduced to a Zen master. The Americans, puzzled by the rituals, said: “We visited many of your temples and participated in many of your practices but we don’t understand what your theology is.” The Zen master roared with laughter: ”We have no theology or philosophy, we simply laugh and dance.”

K.K. Ganapathi Muni, a Vedic scholar, once approached Ramana Maharishi and asked: “What is true meditation?” Maharshi said: “Watching the source of thought is meditation.” The source of thought is Self. Ignoring the Self is unhappiness. Being conscious of one’s ignorance is meditation. Thought projects time veiling consciousness. Identifying with time is unconsciousness and cause of suffering. Consciousness is bliss, which is transcendence of time.

Consciousness is awareness of the self as the light in which thoughts, feelings and sensations shine and responses happen. How far is consciousness from the phenomenal world? How far is the Creator God from creation? Is bliss opposed to body experiences? Can happiness be an enduring experience in the ups and downs of actual living? Living in constant awareness of one’s spiritual nature while interacting with the world is experiencing happiness moment to moment.

Sri Narayana Guru said “To act with awareness is freedom and to act without awareness is bondage.” The difference between freedom and bondage is awareness. Self-awareness is true awareness with reference to which the thought projected world is seen as a myth – as just a narration of an imaginative mind.

Happiness in every day life means walking wakefully in this dream world. Self-awareness helps find true happiness.

Creative Mystery of a Prepared Mind

Newton wasn’t the only person in the world on whose head an apple fell. Yet, it was Newton who immediately grasped the meaning of gravity after this experience. When Einstein heard that a painter had fallen from the roof, he asked the painter how he felt while falling down. The painter’s reply that he felt weightless propelled Einstein into formulating his General Theory of Relativity. Both Newton and Einstein and countless other discoverers of truth produced great ideas from every day observations because their minds were in a state of preparedness.

A prepared mind is the sanyam of Patanjali’s Yoga Darshan. How is the knowledge perceived by the prepared mind? Knowledge is of two types – internal and external. Internal knowledge is the outcome of information stored in the brain and churning and processing by deep thought. External knowledge is gained when deep thought interacts with it in the knowledge space. This interaction takes the place then the prepared mind produces a thought whose template matches the object of perception in a lock and key type interaction leading to knowledge. A sensitive brain can identify itself with any idea or object in the world. Once Sri Ramakrishna, while in a heightened state of awareness saw a person walking in the grass and felt as if that person was walking on his chest.

Knowledge about the universal consciousness or God or how the Universe is made already exists in knowledge space. Access to this space is time-dependent and not person-dependent. So even if there was somebody else, other than Newton or Einstein, they would have received the knowledge provided they had a prepared mind. Many people get similar ideas simultaneously and independently – the renaissance period in Europe and spiritual awakening in India in the late 1800s are examples of this serendipity.

We cannot think more than what already exists in the Universe. At best we can discover the already existing truths. Thus the products of even our wildest dreams and imaginations exist some where in the universe. Mental preparedness helps us discover them.

Mental preparedness is achieved through hard work and great discipline. Even if some people are predisposed to discovery, sanyam has to be inculcated. Knowledge comes only to those who pursue it vigorously. Will power plays an important role – hence the saying that God helps only those who help themselves.

When a person is in deep thought the ego sense vanishes. Ego arises when the inputs from the senses are active. In deep thought the person’s concentration blocks the sense inputs and hence the ego sense is suppresses. Therefore a continuous practice of yoga and sanyam can help sublimate the ego into universal consciousness. Then there is no ego, the prepared mind should be able to perceive the universal knowledge. This does happen sometimes during the dreaming process where the “I” is partially absent. Thinking deeply about something helps one discover profound truths even during the dreaming process. Kekule saw the structure of the benzene molecule in a dream. Gandhi too got the idea to undertake the Dandi March from a dream.

Deep thought or sanyam besides producing happiness also helps the brain offload memories. Yogis have known all along that through yoga one can shed the sanskaras or memories and achieve liberation. Recently scientists have photographed for the first time the formation and dissolution of memories in brain of rats. It is quite possible that under intense stimulus of sanyam the same dissolution of memory take place in humans.

Wild Canvas

When a man dies he never cries;
Others cry for him.
When a baby is born, he cries;
Others around rejoice.
Is it the cry of the dead heard from babe’s mouth?
Perhaps the anguish of an unaccomplished soul
Reburdened to suffer another life.
Life – it’s groping in the dark.

We grope thus hand in hand,
So you also fall when I do,
Sometimes there is light,
I succumb to it and you stumble.
Sometimes there is an obstacle,
I avoid it; guide it to you.
And this betrayal goes on.
But do we learn? Learn to cooperate??
We remain aliens till the final march.
Yeah! Aliens – to the way truth is.

The sky is bright and blue,
There is not a cloud to spoil the view.
But still rains in our hearts –
So when I march we actually move backwards,
And that’s the we have traveled all along—
From a barbaric worshipper to THE CREATOR.
But do we feel? Feel happiness.
It remains a mirage till the final battle.
Yeah! Mirage – I have searched it here, there, in outer space, everywhere.

The cycle of life chugs along – birth and death
Come and go and the war goes on –
We jumble up identities,
Identities – who are you? Who am I??

I am the body. Nay!
I am the intellect. Nope!
Then I am the mind.
Perhaps all the above, or perhaps none.
Or perhaps a conglomeration of cells;
Cells which work incoherently for individual existence!
The chorus grew louder and deafening.
And then his rhythm rhymes thy,
And the sound of silence is audible.
There is no happiness now ---
I am happiness.
You are a drop of consciousness in an ocean and I am you.